The legal space is diverse. Consequently, lawyers in different practice areas have different experiences. Moreover, lawyers are human, too, and their human experiences outside work also add to their worldviews and perspectives and fuel their passions.
Today, we celebrate the lawyers who tap into their experiences within and outside the legal landscape to impact the communities within which they exist. One such lawyer is Salome Oyosi, an Advocate of the High Court with ten years of post-qualification experience, a Principal Legal Officer at IPOA, and the co-founder of Millennial Mamas. Millennial Mamas is a community-based organization (CBO) that empowers single mothers to overcome the stigma they face in Kenyan society and other challenges. The CBO’s tagline is simple, yet it says it all: Mom enough.
So, why build a community around single mothers? What is Salome Oyosi’s goal with Millenial Mamas, and which milestones have she and her CBO ticked along the way? How has her knowledge and expertise in the legal profession informed her vision for her CBO? Find the answers to these and more questions as you enjoy this insightful and heartwarming feature.
Founding Millennial Mamas: The Missteps That Morphed Into Purpose
“It is only after I experienced my season of awakening that I realized that I have been given a purpose and I have worth inside me that will affect the world.” This was Salome’s opening reflection as she spoke to us about her journey to establishing and running a CBO.
Salome’s inspiration behind Millenial Mamas stems from her personal experiences and exposure to the legal profession. Therefore, to appreciate her brainchild, let us go to the very beginning.
“Initially, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon (after reading Ben Carson’s Gifted Hands), but biology happened. I shifted my gaze toward law for my undergraduate studies and ended up at the Catholic University of Eastern Africa (CUEA) law school.”
After earning her first degree at CUEA, Salome joined the ATP program at KSL and completed her pupillage at the Kenya Law Reform Commission. “My pupillage experience at KLRC was amazing because it exposed me to the civil society space and collaboration with government agencies at the onset of my legal career.” The exposure formed the foundation for her to establish a CBO a decade later.
Another milestone that shaped Salome’s life trajectory was when she became a mom shortly after her admission to the bar in 2014. According to Salome, the life trajectory set out for a typical Kenyan child is to go to school, work hard, get a degree, get a good job, earn big money, then settle down with a spouse. Unfortunately for Salome, that “settling down” puzzle piece didn’t fall into place as seamlessly as she had anticipated. Instead of wedding bells and a grand wedding ceremony, she ended up pregnant and alone, barely out of her early 20s.
“Besides facing the stigma of getting pregnant out of wedlock, I lacked guidance in dealing with the rejection from a potential significant other.” Moreover, the push-and-pull with her son’s biological father didn’t help matters. The emotional and psychological turmoil she endured as a young, pregnant, and alone woman was harrowing for her. She was trapped in a flurry of emotions, from shame to anger and heartbreak. However, the worst part of walking this journey alone was the loneliness because nobody around her understood the turmoil she was going through.
On the one hand, Salome counts herself fortunate that she didn’t face financial woes after becoming a mother because her parents were in a position to step in. However, on the other hand, there’s this engulfing part of single parenthood whereby you don’t know what to do, yet you have nobody to share the burden of raising a child with. Moreover, she was also grieving the traditional marriage life she had hoped for because she genuinely wanted to get married. ‘I felt like I needed a complete family with a spouse because that was ingrained in me.”
Later, things got dicey when she took a career risk that didn’t pan out as intended and impacted her finances. “So, I was a single mom at 30, living in my parents’ house while jobless.”
Her deep desire for what society considers a ‘complete’ family influenced her to make some bad decisions. For instance, she got married to a man who, in retrospect, was a bad fit, yet the red flags were there from the start. “In all honesty, Millenial Mamas was born out of ignorance. All these experiences were because I was clueless. For one, I wanted to get married, yet I had no clue how to pick a good partner because nobody teaches that out here. He was an evangelist, and in my ignorance, I subconsciously believed that his being a believer covered everything. Yet, we had fundamental differences in attitude and outlook toward life that meant our dynamic couldn’t work.
The only reasonable thing to do was to step out of this sham of a marriage before it was too late. Therefore, in 2022, Salome left everything she had acquired at her matrimonial home, took her two sons, and moved to Ruaka to start her life all over again for the second time in a decade. While the decision was conscious and prudent, it still hurt because practical decisions, while necessary, aren’t painless.
“All I could think of at this time was “I wish I had a community.” Although Salome chose Ruaka because she’d be closer to a close friend who was God-sent, she longed for understanding from someone who had walked through a similar path. “No one understood me because they couldn’t understand why I had left my marriage.”
One random day, while at her friend’s house, she acted on a thought that had lingered in her mind for some time now. “I thought, “What if we had a community of mums where we could sit, talk, and check…? It would be so much easier because even when you feel like breaking in the middle of the night, you can have someone to talk to. That was how Millenial Mamas was born.” Millenial Mamas started as a WhatsApp group in August 2022 and grew into a registered CBO with 400 members three years later.
Millenial Mamas: An Empowerment Vehicle for Single Mothers in Kenya
As highlighted above, Millenial Mamas morphed from a WhatsApp group born of Salome’s desire for a community of women who understand and empathize with each other’s experiences into a registered CBO. So, What does Millenial Mamas do, how has it grown over the last three years, and most importantly, who is a Millenial Mama? (Who can join, and what is the procedure for becoming a member?).
According to Salome, although community and support remain core values at Millenial Mamas, the CBO goes a step further and empowers its members through practical steps that allow them to overcome challenges relating to motherhood. One core challenge Millenial Mamas addresses through empowerment is fighting the stigma against single mothers.
“We formed Millenial Mamas to ensure moms heal because, through healing, they will evolve and elevate.” Salome highlights that peer-to-peer learning is one of the tools Millenial Mamas utilizes to facilitate healing and empowerment. “While content may vary slightly, there is no utterly novel experience in the community; each mom has an experience that another mom in the community has gone through before. The shared experiences facilitate mentorship, nurturing, and training within the CBO.”
Second, Millenial Mamas has three thematic areas that guide the peer-to-peer learning highlighted above. These are:
- Mental health and physical wellness
- Entrepreneurship, economic empowerment, and wealth creation
- Outreach mentorship programs
Each thematic area has a unique set of programs that facilitate its execution. For example, regarding mental health and physical wellness, Millenial Mamas hosts weekly conversations every Tuesday, during which the moms receive teachings from a professional regarding different areas of life. The conversation may also include psychosocial support through group therapy. Millenial Mamas has partnered with nine counselors who facilitate group therapy.
Besides the Tuesday conversations, Millenial Mamas hosts informative and practical webinars for its members. “Some of the topics we’ve covered with the moms through the webinars include the realities of a single mom, child trauma and healing, suicide awareness & prevention, female reproductive health, the rights of a child and how to protect them, custody and maintenance, and motherhood mental health struggles, just to name a few.”
Besides the virtual activities, Millenial Mamas also hosts mental wellness hangouts at the Arboretum. Salome highlights that running the CBO is a team effort. Therefore, in addition to the counselors who facilitate its group therapy sessions, the CBO partners with counseling organizations like Ushauri Wellness Africa.
Millenial Mamas’Impact: Transforming Lives, Building Futures
“One of the milestones I celebrate is that through these partnerships, one of our moms got a scholarship and is now a therapist. Besides paying it forward to the CBO, she also runs counseling programs at her church.”
Salome also celebrates being the face of humanity for some of her fellow women in the legal profession who had similar experiences in their personal lives. Essentially, lawyers are humans too, and being a Learned Friend does not make you immune to shattering life experiences.
Salome recounts an experience where she wore a Millenia Mamas-branded T-shirt to a legal training event, and a fellow female lawyer approached her due to the branding. “She broke down in tears while explaining how the WhatsApp group was all the support she had after an acrimonious divorce from an abusive marriage. Unfortunately, many brilliant women lawyers spend their days prosecuting GBV offenders, gathering evidence, and championing the rights of others. Yet, when faced with similar experiences, they have nowhere to turn; their woes go unnoticed at the workplace as they struggle to keep their heads up.”
Sometimes, the unspoken cost of being a ‘Learned Friend’ is that people expect you to always have things figured out. So, unfortunately, these women lawyers find themselves caught between a rock and a hard place. Their two unattractive options are to either speak about the abuse they are experiencing and risk being ridiculed or facing the stigma related to GBV or to suffer in silence and preserve what’s left of their dignity.
What it Takes to Run a CBO
On the one hand, Salome’s experiences are the fuel that fires her passion for Millenial Mamas. However, her legal skills and work experiences as a lawyer also give her perspective.
“The fact that you’re called an advocate means you must advocate for something. Also, as an advocate, you don’t necessarily have to limit yourself to the topics taught in law school; you can be an advocate for good food (foodie alert). So, I define myself as an advocate for women, and I’ll fight for the women with all that I am.”
Nonetheless, Salome adds that her technical knowledge as a lawyer in areas like child maintenance, divorce, and human rights in general is handy. Should any of the Millenial Mamas be facing challenges in such areas, she’s in a position to advise or find someone within her legal network who can help.
Second, Salome hopes the CBO can build a shelter to accommodate some single moms in dire situations. “Some of these moms are so stuck in their heads, and some lack the financial wherewithal or economic skills to start over. It would be good for them to have a physical space to heal while we connect them to jobs and other empowerment opportunities and skills; then, it will be a win.”
Third, Salome has been furthering her education despite the challenges in her personal life. She has a Master’s in International Studies from the University of Nairobi (UoN) and is pursuing a PhD in Security Studies at Kenyatta University. “I finished my coursework, and I have an approved thesis topic. I’m writing about Digital Inclusion and the Socio-economic Empowerment of Single Mothers in Nairobi. I hope to get donors who can support our goals, such as the shelter, and solidify the economic empowerment pillar. I believe writing this paper (besides earning me the title Dr. Oyosi) will help onboard like-minded donors.”
The topic stemmed from Salome’s having to lend her personal laptop to two of the moms in her group who expressed a desire to learn a digital skill and pursue economic empowerment in the digital space. One got a gig and earned enough to purchase her own laptop, which Salome considers a win.
Join Millennial Mamas, An Empowering and Nurturing Community
“A millenial Mama is a mother who is doing life alone and handling most or all the responsibility of raising a child single-handedly. She is also a teen mom or a woman who became a single mother due to separation, divorce, or choice. She can also be a married woman doing life alone while in the marriage.”
As highlighted above, the CBO has roughly 400 members, including 180 registered members. Registration helps Millenial Mamas curate the programs based on members’ practical information needs.
Millenial Mamas’ age demographic is any mother aged 20-50. Three generations of women and girls coming together to heal and chart the path ahead is a powerful force. Besides their shared emotional experiences, they also contribute their skills and professional expertise, creating a powerful networking space.
To join Millenial Mamas, you can contact them via the channels below:
- Email: millenialmamas254 @gmail.com
- Instagram handles: @millenialmamas254 @ladysalomeoyosi @the_serahseroney
The CBO has a simple onboarding process: You’ll receive a brief profile of its goals, mission, and vision and a prompt to register. Once you complete registration, you’ll be added to the WhatsApp group and become part of this positive community.
Bottom Line:
What’s next for Millenial Mamas? Salome hopes to see Millenial Mamas grow into a powerhouse for elevated women who are making change and making moves. She hopes her mamas can overcome being defined by their past and defy every stereotype against single mothers.
So, how can you support Millenial Mamas if you’re an advocate for women’s empowerment or any of the CBO’s core themes? “We need funds because most activities cannot run without funds. So, you can partner with us on a thematic area that suits you or your organization, provided we empower the women.” To contribute as a donor or a partner, you can also reach out through the contact information provided above.
Lastly, LawDown Africa celebrates Salome Oyosi for being vulnerable, reminding us that lawyers, especially women lawyers, are human too, and for the grace and courage to turn her pain and missteps into a well of inspiration from which fellow women within and beyond the legal space can draw resilience and the freedom to dream again.
